I Should Be Working...

But instead, I'm devoting the power of my brain cells to thinking of a name for Gideon Yago's new show on MTV. He doesn't even know who I am, but I know who he is. I know someone whom he knows. That someone also knows me.

I also can't stop thinking about Cafe LaRuche's French onion soup. Come on, Andre, you bizitch, you want to have lunch with me. It's gorgeous out for once and you can ignore your lactose intolerance and partake (bearing the consequences of melted cheese later) or have your usual Coq au Vin with potatoes instead of pasta. Why do they serve pasta with that? Makes no sense.

Speaking of Cafe LaRuche, SuperButt is back. SuperButt is this waiter who might be French, we're not sure, and he looks like a cross between Fabio and George from the first season of "Queer Eye." Remember George? He was the bodybuilder who took a bullet for his mom. Anyway, SuperButt has such a huge, buoyant ass that every time he walks past us, we think we're going to (literally) get butted in the head. I must get a picture of SuperButt and his super ass.