Fucking Old Coot II

Wayne says the old coot adopts an accent on the phone depending on the editor's surname. It's Irish if the the name is O'Shaughnessy ("Aye, McCandless! I'm Eyee-rish too!"), Italian mobster if the last name is Costanza ("McCandless! From BWOOK-lyn!" - no, he's not), and he tells me about every fucking time he sees a show even remotely about China ("I saw the most wonderful program on the Discovery Channel about Confucius!" *pointed look*).

He's also "on Atkins," but he drowns his salads in Ranch and cheats with croutons and Saltines. He grazes constantly. Someone should get him a feedbag.

I used to laugh when he spell-checked his emails and didn't notice that it would change his last name to "Candles" in his signature.